Daffynitions for Halloween

Coffin:
What you do when you get a piece of
popcorn stuck in your throat.

Frankenstein:
Hot dog and a mug of beer.

Full moon:
What your repairman reveals when
he bends over to fix your fridge.

Gargoyle:
An olive-flavored mouthwash.

Goblin:
How you eat the snickers bars
you got for Halloween.

Boogieman:
Guy who passes time at a
stoplight picking his nose.

Invisible Man:
What a guy becomes when there's housework
to be done. Also, see Mr. Hyde.

Jack O' Lantern:
An Irish Pumpkin.

Jack the Ripper:
What Jack does to his lottery tickets
after losing each week.

Mummy:
Who kisses the boo-boo after
you scrape your knee.

Pumpkin Patch:
What a pumpkin wears when
trying to quit smoking.

Skeleton:
Any supermodel.

Vampire Bat:
What Dracula hits a baseball with.

Witch:
See "Mother-In-Law".

Zombie:
What you look like before that
first cup of morning coffee.

Ogre:
Old guy who sits in his living room where you can see him, watching TV, while your kids ring the doorbell fruitlessly..