1. Velcro is the ultimate rip-off.

2. Two burglars stole a calendar last night and they each got six months.

3. I wanted to be a doctor but I didn’t have the patients.

4. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me — it means a lot.

5. I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

6. I tried writing with a broken pencil but it was pointless.

7. Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap.

8. I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired.

9. I was going to tell a pizza joke but it was too cheesy.

10. I heard Cinderella tried out for the basketball team, but she kept running away from the ball.

11. There are three types of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

12. Leopards are terrible at hide-and-seek because they’re always spotted.

13. I’m throwing a space-themed party for my birthday but I don’t want to planet.

14. Whoever invented knock-knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize.

15. A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

16. There was a kidnapping on a school bus but it’s fine. He woke up.

17. I’m on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

18. One bird can’t make a pun. But toucan.

19. A sandwich tried to get a reservation at a restaurant, but the waiter said they don’t serve food there.

20. I just found out I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

21. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can

22. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.




Thanks For Visiting Fathers One Liners
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